Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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