Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize