It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
