after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
