im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
