Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
