and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
