I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
