Its about making memories worth repressing
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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