are you still at the devil's house?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
