me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
