I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
