Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
