Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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