there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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