it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
