Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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