You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
