nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
