Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
