I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
