I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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