Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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