I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
