Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
