we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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