Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
