How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
