if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
