it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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