It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
