I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
