You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
