He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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