Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
