i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
