Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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