Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
