none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
