I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
