that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Randomize
