Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
