So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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