no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
