Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I believe in your delicious
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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