I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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