New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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