like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
