You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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