So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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