Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
